“Every single part of my face tells a story of my ancestors and my family composition.”
Eye to Eye
If I could be any kind of body, I would want to just be in my own body, but I would maybe want to be slimmer.
I think it is a really nice thing to have a unique face, because my unique facial features are such special gifts from my parents. When I was younger, in my teenage years, I felt unsatisfied with my single-eyelid eyes because they were considered less beautiful among classmates. My natural eyes look slender, and with typical Mongolian epicanthus. I was the only kid in my family to have this type of eyes, and when I was growing up, all family members would keep telling me that it was a “shame” that my eyes looked like this. My own father even told me I would be more beautiful if my eyes were bigger, which was heartbreaking for a twelve-year-old girl. In school as well, I would be told that my classmates, regardless of their gender, were considered prettier because they have round, double-eyelid eyes that look more foreign. When I got to high school, generally everyone started to make moves on their appearances, such as getting ear-piercings and learning to do makeup. Other girls who had the same type of eyes as mine would get minor plastic surgeries to have “European” eyes. I was tempted, but I did not like the idea of having my eyelid cut open—it is a surgery after all, no matter how minor the cut is! But it was one casual conversation with my mother that made me give up the idea: I remember one day I was casually talking about girls in my high school and how they all got some kind of surgery. She just told me that she thinks it is really sad that someone would really hate his or her natural features to an extent to get rid of it completely. Then she looked at me and told me as a parent, she would feel really sad if her child really hates any features she has passed on. This conversation evoked a special sensation in me that I started to consider my facial features as my cultural legacy. Every single part of my face tells a story of my ancestors and my family composition, and there is nothing I should be ashamed of.
I do want to get fit and slimmer. I don’t think the idea of fitness is a problematic one, as long as it is not taken to an extreme. I like the feeling of regulating my body because it brings me a healthy and positive attitude of living. I think it is a great feeling to look into the mirror and see myself getting more fit every day. I used to play a lot more sports, so when I stopped a few years ago, my body was literally blowing up in size. I started to experience difficulties walking; it became so tiring. I could not wear a lot of my old clothes, and it felt miserable. If I were to choose my body type, I would definitely choose my own body when I was still playing sports, and I would never allow myself to relax on working out. Every time after working out, I feel really great about life, just because it is healthy, and I can literally feel the change. I now have managed to keep my body regulated and maintained a nice a body shape, and I am proud of this. Therefore I think for health reasons, I would want to be slim and healthy and maintain my best sporty shape.