NO SIDEWALKS IN BEL AIR

NO SIDEWALKS IN BEL AIR

 

 

there were no sidewalks in Bel Air the night I decided to fling my ashes into the sky–
I walked down the center of the street balancing my childlike wishes with the pessimism that was seeping in my bones
I closed my eyes—
jasmine wafting in the air—
and I summoned a picture of you.

“BOY!”
—I cried—

“how many wounds have you cauterized?” don’t be mistaken,
my words were no arrows of hate
you see, I’m watching you shrink—
starve yourself of a bond—
“no no let’s not talk of love, or worse, ROMANCE, ugh,
no,
please,
let’s not.”

I only feel pity now where my pulse used to be.

a sprinkler dispels the illusion and I keep walking
watching your face
evaporate
into the night air.

crickets chimed in a symphony, passive.

no, there were no sidewalks in Bel Air that night, only glimpses, shards
of your eyes
puncturing the cerulean ether.

 

 
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CONFLUENCE